Gatherings

Gatherings nowadays seem to be marking an end instead of something new.
Gatherings are supposed to be to keep in touch, but why do i have the feeling of a "i don't owe you anymore" meet up instead.

I've heard from somone that there will be a gathering to re-burn, re-kindle the fire in our hearts, to remember the good old days we used to have.
I hope I will be the one organising it, but the response won't be good i think.
This kinda gathering is 可欲不可求 one. Everyone hopes for it, but dun think anyone will do it.

There are some things that i've always wanted to do.
To re-organize, to fulfill some promises i've made so long agoto some old friends who "I dun think they care about it anymore".
So, when will be the big day? When will be the day in my mind?
Will it acts out like what I've thought it to be,
or most probably it will fail like the oh so familiar recent gatherings.

We are just focused in our own worlds, walking down a path of our own.
We shouldn't distort from it, so let us continue walking ba,
a route away from each other.
Until that day, that day in my mind that i imagined happens...

没有长时间的距离，怎么能感觉得出彼此的 bonding 始终没有离去？

错失

这21年来我一直以为我错失了很多机会，
留下了很多遗憾。

但是如果再回到过去，以一样的成熟思想，
结果还会是一样。

我只有对错失过的她们两个道歉，
没珍惜那时的偶遇。

就算给我再来一次，我也庆幸当时的决定，
因为我相信我不能给她们幸福。

Birthday 21st

i shouldn't deserve so much attention for my birthday,
it's just a date like any other normal days.

esp. when i refuse to pay for my friends' presents, when i dun even remember when their birthdays are.

I am not a great friend, i shouldn't deserve this much.
I'm not someone who will wholly care for anyone else.
I am a motive-driven person.

Looking back these 21 years, I have been immature or trying to be one for most part of my life.
I refuse to to grow intellectually and think like an adult.

I think it is time for me to drop my resistance and start growing
Uni life will be the start of this change, or i should even start now.

shouldn't let the thinkings of "The Little Prince" bother me too much for now.
I'm just afraid the world of adulthood is too much for me to handle, that's why i've been avoiding it till now.

21 years I've been running away from things happening around me, refusing the accept them.
For now, i should start to make it a point to drop my immature thinkings and trying a difference

Should, until something negative from inside me lurks out that is,
before i become someone whom i myself will detest,
until i know that i've become a better person, who is truly still me.