专注

太专注于一样东西,
只会让你匆忙地遗忘了其他身边的事.
到了半路发现少了什么, 到时才回头寻找,
走回以前的路, 是不是已经来不及了?

Saved: 30 Dec 2005 00:35:09

Dam

I feel like i am a dam.
Using people's support and feelings towards me as the building blocks,
I rise higher and stronger,
taking on the responsibilities of holding the water back.

As experiences amount, I meet more people who contributed to the building materials.
Relationships matured, making my dam stronger by day.

This goes on, and my dam becomes even bigger and stronger.
So is the water i am retaining increases more and more.

But one day, when one of the materials proved to be not durable,
or new materials are weak and flawed,
it will amount to cracks to my structure.

A dam, no matter how great and strong, will crumble at the slightest crack.
Then, the dam in me will be shattered and conquered by the
larger amounts of water stored behind years ago.

I will fall, crumple and rendered useless.
Will people then appreciate my efforts and rebuild me again,
will i find back myself and recollect the remnants of the dam and rise again,
or will i just lie in ruins, tired from the responsibility i once endured?
No one knows, for the day of the fall of the Great Dam is not known.

十二月

经过这XX的十二月后,
我发现我还是那失败的我,
只是现在的我不接受失败,
心里仍然保留着一股傲气.
这就是我的倔强.

傲气比天高!

Saved: 26 Dec 2005 15:49:38

I really need to tone down

我不是说过只把她当朋友,慢慢了解吗?
但为什么每当寂寞, 夜深人静时就想 message 她,
而因等不到她的回信而如此悲伤, 寂寞.
I really need to tone down.
但我知道这想法很快就会烟消云散了.
esp. after she replied.

Saved: 25 Dec 2005 02:04:51

引退

我觉得自己在别人眼中太重要了.
太 act seh, 太 domninating了.
是我太过火, 太自信吗?

我想我累了, 但不能休息,
因为没有我, 很多人都不行...
但真的是这样吗?
是我把自己看得太高吧...

也许我真的要休息, 引退,
需要时才出来吧.

但还是要找个人依赖, 诉苦.
不然就太寂寞了.
我只是要做个喜欢的自己,
但这自己太自私,
不受欢迎了吧...

Saved: 25 Dec 2005 01:57:20

牛奶

我写过悲伤的咖啡,
现在来写个白白纯纯的牛奶吧...

感情就像是牛奶,白白的,甜甜的,
不需伪装,也没有防腐剂.
但品尝它的人要小心噢,
不能搁着太久,否则必定会酸.

刚拿出来的牛奶冰冰,甜甜,冷冷地,
谁喝了,都甜蜜.
要是不注意,被其它的饮料分心了,
把它冷淡了,牛奶就会伤心,心酸. :<

喝到了心酸的牛奶,
你会忍心地选择把它倒掉,
还是继续喝着这酸酸的它,
后悔着没好好地珍惜那甜蜜呢?

tired

I feel so tired... Y now every meeting also got motive one, y i feel that i take up so many reponsibilites... I just feel that i can't enjoy the outings... I must make it right, duty bounded. I want to cry, but i can't find the reason for the tears...

Saved: 17 Dec 2005 03:51:26

Just now the meeting is supposed to say out feelings, but end up the atmosphere is wrong. ONly say what happened, surface things, but whats important, what my feelings i no say. Now i feel the backlash, so many words in my mouth, so nan shou... Just now just putting up a mask, putting up a front, saying what im supposed to say. But can see you all even the surface things also dun want to hear liao, so thats no need to say anymore... feels terrible

Saved: 17 Dec 2005 04:00:46

This period i always try to be something higher, bigger than what i am, trying to take responsibilities and deliver. When i'm down, i tend to overlook it and cover it up, telling myself that i am jianyang, i won't be down. This bigger me that i created to give others a relly on is tolling me down now. Y must i be something i am not. But i dunwan to revert back to my old self, the insecure, low confidence me. I think this stage will pass,

Saved: 17 Dec 2005 04:14:53

Only in the night, i will feel like this. but will i be just covering it up again, overlooking it, then accumulate and one day explode out again, another sleepless night? I think so, and i just want to say it out, or else i can't sleep. Please dun change your opinion of me over this message. This is tempo

Saved: 17 Dec 2005 04:17:12

Outbreak

I am a depressed kid by default.
It's just that i am curbing this part of me in resurfacing.
The more i hide it, the more i feel it grows inside me.
Just waiting for a chance to break its way out.
The more high i am now,
will only equates to how down i will be later.

朋友

交我这个朋友不好,
我会试着突出我的好,
把对方的缺点挖出来,
加以踩磨.
还是离我远一点吧.

Saved: 6 Dec 2005 22:54:26