tired

I feel so tired... Y now every meeting also got motive one, y i feel that i take up so many reponsibilites... I just feel that i can't enjoy the outings... I must make it right, duty bounded. I want to cry, but i can't find the reason for the tears...

Saved: 17 Dec 2005 03:51:26

Just now the meeting is supposed to say out feelings, but end up the atmosphere is wrong. ONly say what happened, surface things, but whats important, what my feelings i no say. Now i feel the backlash, so many words in my mouth, so nan shou... Just now just putting up a mask, putting up a front, saying what im supposed to say. But can see you all even the surface things also dun want to hear liao, so thats no need to say anymore... feels terrible

Saved: 17 Dec 2005 04:00:46

This period i always try to be something higher, bigger than what i am, trying to take responsibilities and deliver. When i'm down, i tend to overlook it and cover it up, telling myself that i am jianyang, i won't be down. This bigger me that i created to give others a relly on is tolling me down now. Y must i be something i am not. But i dunwan to revert back to my old self, the insecure, low confidence me. I think this stage will pass,

Saved: 17 Dec 2005 04:14:53

Only in the night, i will feel like this. but will i be just covering it up again, overlooking it, then accumulate and one day explode out again, another sleepless night? I think so, and i just want to say it out, or else i can't sleep. Please dun change your opinion of me over this message. This is tempo

Saved: 17 Dec 2005 04:17:12