Realisation

I dun like them, it's just that i needed a girlfriend, an identity, and they happens to be the opportunity now. I need to look at the person, approach in a "I want her to be my girlfriend", putting the person in front of the name. Not putting the name in thought first then the person occurs.

Everytime a new resolution or realisation appears after each cycle. Enlightenment after enlightenment, but there are always new breakthroughs to challenge these resolutions and realisations and prove them to be inadequate. Realisation and execution are two different matters. It only makes you think that it makes you improve mentally.

Striving now for a stable, brighter future weighs more than keeping memories to share with my families in the future, or at least, its more reliable. This is a thought which makes me feel noble, sacrificing oneself for my loved ones in the future, and from their happiness derived my happiness. A vision which will likely be altered in the future, but now drives me on. A thought of putting others before self is noble, and perceiving ownself as a noble being satisfies my vainity and self-regconition. It will benefit me anyway in the end, regardless of who it was meant to be for.

"To my dear friends who are reading this,

Everytime I blog, it's just my impulse thinking at that moment, be it on bus, mrt, after a heart-to-heart talk or a moment of depression and I need to get things out. This is meant to be a private space, so I will not try to reserve and edit my words for reading. I will not think of anyone is reading when I write. The only purpose of giving the address out is to maybe let you understand me better. I always try to be as truthful when I write, and I know that you understand I like comments, but pls dun leave a comment just to make me feel good or console me as a friend. Do it as truthfully as I'd write this.

23:26
20th Jan 07

I have a quench to be understood and known. But it is really embarrassing (and I blushed) when I realise the pretty lady standing beside me is probably reading what I was writing just now.
If I'd give her this blog's add, it will sound like some love novel thingy, whao~ fantasising is so sweet.

23:31