关心

我从来不懂得关心一个人，
我从来就不会因为某个人伤心而伤心。
做错事，说错话而感到内疚的机率却太多。

虽然你不会相信，就连我自己也怀疑，
但我的心，已慢慢地感到了变化。

这样的我，可能不会持续太久，
可能瞬时又会恢复以前的样子，
但也可能，just maybe, 这小小的转变是长久，永恒的。

- 13:08
27th Jan 07
- MRT

- 我想写小说了。写一个属于我，有你，有我的完美世界。

天使

当没有人在乎我，关心我的时候，
当我感到孤独，无助时，
你就像天使一样，给我包容，关怀。

虽然我们并不熟悉，
虽然我们才初次碰面，
但你给我的温柔却好温暖。

我很庆幸那时的矛盾，那时的困惑，那时的不能决定。
幸好我从来都不是一个容易做决定的人，
所以才可以险些地逃过了任何可以伤害我们关系的举动。

对，你可能不知道，虽然我在你面前傻傻的，只会面带微笑，
但你在我的心目中是这样的一个人。

身为一个 MRT/LRT blogger, 我可能会把我的想法在写著时美化，
只是让你知道，我们一直都会是好朋友。

13:55
27th Jan 07
LRT station

啊，感觉好轻松呀！

我和 你

我像是天，你像是地，

天长地久，永不分离。

我像只云，你就是花朵，

云朵飘在空中，自由自在。

你说我固执，我笑你执著，

我俩都一样，不曾怀疑。

我性格狂野，却不安，

你刚好温顺，又体贴。

我常常失败，后伤心，

你一再鼓励，给我温柔。

我不够细心，常闯祸，

你还是微笑，包容。

我好想了解你，拥抱你，

可是我却找不到你。

只可惜... 我还没遇到你。

16：07
27th Jan 07
- MRT

Realisation

I dun like them, it's just that i needed a girlfriend, an identity, and they happens to be the opportunity now. I need to look at the person, approach in a "I want her to be my girlfriend", putting the person in front of the name. Not putting the name in thought first then the person occurs.

Everytime a new resolution or realisation appears after each cycle. Enlightenment after enlightenment, but there are always new breakthroughs to challenge these resolutions and realisations and prove them to be inadequate. Realisation and execution are two different matters. It only makes you think that it makes you improve mentally.

Striving now for a stable, brighter future weighs more than keeping memories to share with my families in the future, or at least, its more reliable. This is a thought which makes me feel noble, sacrificing oneself for my loved ones in the future, and from their happiness derived my happiness. A vision which will likely be altered in the future, but now drives me on. A thought of putting others before self is noble, and perceiving ownself as a noble being satisfies my vainity and self-regconition. It will benefit me anyway in the end, regardless of who it was meant to be for.

"To my dear friends who are reading this,

Everytime I blog, it's just my impulse thinking at that moment, be it on bus, mrt, after a heart-to-heart talk or a moment of depression and I need to get things out. This is meant to be a private space, so I will not try to reserve and edit my words for reading. I will not think of anyone is reading when I write. The only purpose of giving the address out is to maybe let you understand me better. I always try to be as truthful when I write, and I know that you understand I like comments, but pls dun leave a comment just to make me feel good or console me as a friend. Do it as truthfully as I'd write this.

23:26
20th Jan 07

I have a quench to be understood and known. But it is really embarrassing (and I blushed) when I realise the pretty lady standing beside me is probably reading what I was writing just now.
If I'd give her this blog's add, it will sound like some love novel thingy, whao~ fantasising is so sweet.

23:31

不会吧，难道我又掉入 xian jing （陷阱/仙境）了。
只要一天就有了头绪。

我还是会继续act cool, 慢慢来吧，
这是我曾经说过的。
毕竟我要的，是长久的。

就再让时间让我看得更清楚吧。。。