helpless

I am always so helpess when i am with you...

failed to meet my own expectations, my projected image, the me i want you to see and perceive.

helpless to see you nick there, avoiding to appear online.

helpless of what to send over, and if you will ignore it, or find it to be just even a little bit of annoyance.

helpless to know what you need, but can never make them happen despite my promises and desire to.

helpless to see your picture, and feel helpless...

helpless to know that i will regret all these later...

helplesss to know this fact, but cant fight the truth of my character, my life.

helpless to realise from time to time that actually maybe i do not really feel this way.

helpless to know that we won't be seeing each other next sem.

helpless to want to organise something, but always hindered by time and schedules.

helpless to not able to live up to my promise, myself.

helpless of not being to let you know all these.

cos' all these may not be true, and they may hurt you more than he do.

There's no one out there anymore...

silver

Even if i really get silver,
does it mean i will be confident?

does it mean that hardwork really pays?
does it solve my problem of 自卑

Now

Now, i dun even think of letting my feelings flow in my blog.
It just seems so unreliable now,
like all the other factors i used to depend on.

Perhaps this is growing up...
perhaps this is just an excuse of my do not trust.

朋友

朋友。。。 好不值得啊

Everyone has got their own problems,
by sharing, the problem will be passed
on to the other, sharing the burden.

This seems perfect, but not when
actually eveyone has got their own
problem to solve. Not when nobody
seems to be interested in yours.

I don't believe in sharing anymore.
It is me who wants to take it as my own.
And I will handle my own problem alone.

Its at times like this when I
realised I have no emotional pillar
at all. I have no reason to complain,
no right to 发牢骚。

Because I have no problem at all.
All these are not my own to begin with.

Step back

Just when I wanted to take a step back and stay away from everything for myself,
everything keeps coming.

I can't be selfish myself and ignore them. Or I am not able to even do it, 我做不到。


I need to cool myself down.
I am not facing any difficulties at all.
I do not have any problems right now.

I am okay. there's no reason for me to breakdown.

They need me now. I am strong.
I do not need anyone else to bother.
I am Strong.

problems

You have your problems,
and I have mine.

I can't expect me to be the victim everytime something happens to me.

Who knows, you may be worse off,
with that look on your face.
I should depend on myself.

I feel myself like an emotional container/vessel.

I saw the birth of one,
and the death of another.

There's much emotional burden 纠缠在里面，我不知道 if I can handle it myself.

Money & Fun

You need money to have fun.

Even transportation fee comes into play.
If you're desperate, even phone bills can be considered a factor.

But money can't buy fun.
You can have all the facilities, equipments, time, but no accompany to share the joy with.

There won't be even joy in the first place.